Wishing the World a Very Cheerful 2011

I'm wishing for a year that's happy and peaceful.....sans needless worries, sans gloomy newspapers. Give me hard feedback... I'll be open to those (well, I didn't have much choice here.... but at least that's fair). Spare me the political vendetta washed out on the innocent, spare me the pompous and ridiculously 'neither here nor there' deals, spare me all that's mere fluff.

The year carries BIG dreams and promises for us :) Tons of effort to precede that - for sure - when did we ever get free stuffs? But I'm looking forward to a year when we'll fly through with dignity and good work. Amen!

Well, so today I started the day off with my work - prepping for my next 5 lectures. That's fun :) Then there came in some blasts from the past and I wanted to shed it all off. Wanted to cheer me up. Chocolates.... where art thou?

Yeah I have some cocoa powder in the house, but in no mood for the easy stuff, hot chocolate shake..... yukk....

I felt like a RRRRIICCHHHHH chocolatey cake :) The thought made me happy. But what about dad? He hates those :p
So le'me bake 2 - one my style ;) & the other his (sweeter & non-cocoa)

Since, there's going to be two of them.... I got into my crazy experiment mode..... make the chocolate flavour richer than ever before. Mom said.... "no - no"..... But I kinda believed that this would work. How could chocolate taste bad.... the way it works with chocs is "more is better"..... our petty eco fundae :)

So put flour n cocoa 1/2 n 1/2 and I got this yummy sizzling choco-cake, rich, and yummm :)

God... it's delicious :p Am at it right now.
& to top it.... Dad likes the one that was baked for him :) yay!
So thus begins my new year..... I know there are going to be challenges, some lulls from stingy sides too..... but we'll all succeed in the end.
We'll all have a Happy 2011!

Happy Feet - 1

Cheers to a world where we're free to live!!

A haiku-ish ode to the stunning Bannerghatta National Park

Oh…..that was a perfect day. Here’s how!!

I went with my good pal to the national park, and what a lovely surprise that was. Except the chained mammoths, every little being made me so happy. However, I didn't quite like the condition in which the lovely elephants were kept. they were chained at their ankles and could hardly move. That made me sad :(

But here are a few snaps that I clicked that day!

‘Grizzly-woozly bears’

Living on daydreams
who worries ’bout Monday morning blues
Yummy winter plans

'world wide web'


I like the one that charlotte spins right across my face
Almost everyday
I wince, but hey that doesn’t give me a sore neck

'Big Cats'


Ivory n mud stripes
elegance personified
A face adorning tunes of glory


'Zoo blues'

painted peafowl tap to rhythmic giggles
butterflies paint rainbows

but oh the teary-eyes on chained mammoths – I feel blue

‘Fish’

Cheery colors of spring
Swim by each bend
a fortress cracks

'Deer’

signature of elegance spire up corners of thy head
A stub of a tail n I see thee run
Pure bliss

‘Snake’

Your mystic swivel into the crafted woods
I’m weak in the knees - amazed, petrified
Respect!

celebrating a good week :)

so here's to a fine week after a long long time :)
great work, great work-out ;) n great fun too
so...i took a "let's get cr8ive" break here
made on MS paint - a happy young girl ..... let her be that way!

“India's commonwealth games ignominy makes Pakistan's cricket spot fixing look nirma-washed clean in comparison.!” says Barkha Dutt. I say “So true"

"We understand the concerns of member countries here for participation in CWG, but the situation is under control," says OC General Secretary Lalit Bhanot.
REALLY?

So that big giant bridge collapsing like a Godzilla, on 23 workers, was what - A freak show? Or hadn’t we grabbed enough attention already with (well…let me bullet point them…there are so many)
• Attacks near the gorgeous tourist destination Jama Masjid – this was such a great occasion to advertise India as one of the best tourist destinations in the World. It so is! But, naah ….. they’ll come down with their guns alright and shoot from their goddamned a***s! arggghhhhhh ….. it makes me so angry!
• Dengue – now it’s not them….it’s us. Boy are we filthy? Whose job is it? Just the municipality guys? Or is the CWG OC supposed to clean up behind us every time we cross some place… spitting and littering, n … yeah you name it! Not just any place, even at coveted places this is a phenomenon, and when I try to tell them “Sir, please don’t spit (or litter)” I get that weird stare “are you new around this place?” “yeah, I am! And I’ll make you history if you don’t learn how to behave”, I mutter to myself in disgust, and say “Please don’t litter Sir! It’s not hygienic, n neither pretty, n it’s not really that inconvenient to use the bins lined up right beside you”.
• Filthy and shameful standards of hygiene in the village – so much so that in addition to the crazy frowns we were slapped with an embarrassing clean-up deadline by the CWG authorities. C’mon! And to top it all Mr. Bhanot actually said this “Everyone has different standards about cleanliness. The Westerners have different standards, we have different ones”. I mean c’mon!!
• & then monsoons might mess up the opening ceremony of the CWG 2010 in Delhi! Well, what can be done? Let’s blame the Gods for this.
• Lax in security? Mike Duffy of Seven News (Auatralia’s Channel 7) easily entered the Jawahar Lal Nehru Stadium with a huge (and strange looking) suitcase full of crude explosives. Wow! But the OC spokesmen said that the test was not done during a security lockdown. Had it been done then, this wouldn’t have happened. So the whole thing is bogus! Well, let’s give you the benefit of doubt this time. But the phenomenon is not quite uncommon in our country - don’t know where else, but definitely not here (http://bellsofdervish.blogspot.com/2008/11/reply-to.html)


Let’s forget the unfinished painting bits, and the wiring and plumbing jobs for some time. Yeah, that’s going to be a wreck too unless we’re planning to hire a magician or two at the last hour, so that the hurried job ends up delivering. We have less than 2 weeks before the opening day and there’s an utter mess around the CWG 2010 event. I wish we could’ve used this to portray a strong political statement about our country. I salute China for pulling off the Beijing Olympics with such élan. Corruption breeds persistent habits you see, and even in an event as grand as this, we ate our hands off feeding ourselves those tainted alms; stealing people’s money! Who’d have thought that that silly bridge would collapse at a spot so difficult to cover for? Hard luck, huh?

Whatever! I have stopped hoping for any +ve externality for the country from CWG now. Seriously, can’t manage it! Then don’t take it! Why taint the face for the country in front of the whole world. I am embarrassed.


Photo courtesy: http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/d83cb93c-c53f-11df-9563-00144feab49a.html?ftcamp=rss

Beral (The Cat) - Jibonananda Das

dedicated to my lovely bunch of kitties at IIMA (D2). I miss them sooo much....n today, when I saw this cat near the coffee shop I so yearned to go back to my dear ones at 'A' and pat them n hear them purr n meow at me :)

The God didn’t impress me this time!!

maybe he was trying too hard :|

“O Yaaron ….. Let’s go” doesn’t work out too well for me. Well I’m a Rahman fan … ‘coz? Well ‘coz he’s simply awesome. I was so looking forward to another massive Rahman hit …… but when I heard this CWG2010 no. for the 1st time….it was like one of those Suman Chatterjee/ Kabir Suman (whatever!!) no.s. Like som1 was trying too hard to give us a power-packed melody that was also a subtle n emphatic message, that would linger on forever (like waka waka ….boy, I loved that no.).

The lyrics especially stab us to death :p Reminds me of the Anu Malik shayiri gimmicks on EKLKBK or Indian Idol. Not Good!

Oh…. I understand the pressure ….. maybe Shakira wasn’t trying this hard to deliver. It just simply worked out like magic….the rawness of the moves, the melody, n the addictive fun …..waka waka will stay on my i-pod for a llllongggg time!
Hmm…… but yeah….I do understand the pressure Rahman babu. Wish you all the best next time :)

I’m sure u’ll set us all on fire again – sometime soon ;)
Cheers!

[photo courtesy AR Rahman fan page on face book http://www.facebook.com/#!/arrahman ]

A self-destructive camaraderie with an alternate reality

Eid Mubarak dear world ….. wish you peace!

Have been super-active today. Dunno what it is … but just completed a pretty energetic and useful 5 hours at work. So what’s the secret? The extremely numb corridors of my office, thanks to the Eid break :D, or did I just jinx the monotone of profligacy with my post last evening?

Whatever it was, I’m happier this way. So… thought of taking a blogging break over lunch… was sooo hungry! And completing the whole truth, I also needed to switch to the more important, right now kind of work. I’ve put that aside…dunno why, but have to get it over with before tomorrow :o

Wow… Believe me that’s a lot! Has it ever happened to you… that you sit down to work on something and all that pops up in your head are thoughts and ideas about another piece of work? They’re like these many interesting and useful z-balls which you know are dear and can’t let go off. So, you end up chasing them, trying to tame them all at once. I tamed one of those other balls which I could’ve left alone for some time.
You get the idea… my life literally needs some serious de-cluttering, well… I guess … Right Now!!

Ugghhhhh … I want to see a movie, I want to celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi……
I guess I should pin the meme that’s in here right now…so that I can tame it before I lose it in a host of other ones… which more often than not are the more powerful ones. What am I saying?

Chao!

... and Happy Ganesh Chaturthi!
Ganapati Bappa Maurya! Mangal Moorti Mayrya!

There are Days.....

when there’s an ‘oh-so-powerful’ numinous force that makes me glide through a commendable volume of work. I wake up just at the right moment – enough sleep yet enough time to get ready, do yoga, clean up the house, enjoy a leisurely shower, wear an ironed set of clothes, relish over a lovely breakfast of fruits and cereal, and yet get hold of that damned shuttle ;) to office. At office, I surf the net (just enough) and work efficiently – oh, that’s so important! Reach home just in time to catch up with my family over a steaming cup of cha. Freshen up, and go for an hour-long dip in the pool, working out those extra dark chocolates that I love to nibble at. Return, grab a bowl of fruits, chit-chat with ma, help her with dinner stuff, leaf through some work, TV, food, and a cozy sleep. Well, this doesn't happen too often though. Most of my days just sink, with an annoying plop!

So what is it that makes these days work out so differently? Hmm… That’s the worst part … I know what it is…… I procrastinate! Does it happen to you too?

when you don't care what they all think ......

....and do what you want to do
drowning in a passion - that knows no bound
setting the limits - that you wish kept going
knowing a world - which you create every day
you make the rules - you pave the way
oh what life - each day you'd yearn
to see more of it - to count every sun

I thank thee o Lord - 'coz you've been kind
to have made me see my own dreams unwind
Today I care for those that I loved
since the day I knew senses I'd seen them by me
Then 23 years later you gave me another
shining guiding sun - inspiring me, holding my hands
lest I slip.
I'll see thee too - everyday I pray
Thanking you in silence for moulding my today!

How about if we live for passion and let passion help live?

Let me reach there just for the heck of it

I hope life’s not just some random buzz!
Would we, if we’d not known death - that it stood by some lean corner of life, that it’d let me be for a long time maybe - tread?

Would we strain n toil n stretch to reach that gold line – quick, If we’d not known that there’s a stop somewhere?

Makes me wonder!

Are we better than animals, or worse? Can we graze on for hours, or just laze in the sultry sun, or just be? I’ll work if I want to work. Not ‘coz I need to. Not ‘coz there’s an armed guardian on the loose. What’s life? A rough ride to earn a few comforting alms?
It makes me sick.
I’d rather be born a cheetah, or a viper, or a rat, maybe, than be reduced to a slave.

I’d do my research, n not worry about anything else. Teach when I want to, and when I deem it fair.

Went to my 1st faculty meeting at IIMB.
Was lucky to have caught it just 2 days after joining
Got a hang of their expectations n mine just in time to set in quick. It was a warm welcome to the new one.

I sat in the concentricity of that room, between the waffled layers, enthused by the fact that it was my 1st meet. Would I add value? I was confident before I began. Then it sank in. I'd have to rush to prove my worth. Show the numbers!

Numbers for what? How would I enumerate quality? The idea was precisely that. There’s a number up on the board somewhere. Bold and looming. Reach that and you’ll be appraised.
So quality goes down the drain? Or is it queued up in the end somewhere? I want to swirl through the dimensions that I have set foot on and then to places new. I want to explore in crevices that set a spark in my little brain, humbled in this sea of enlightened educationists. I feel dwarfed by their achievements; most of them. Respect!

But I want to explore to my heart’s content; am working precisely on the track that I had declared before I was chosen. Let me set my own limits. Believe!

And then I ask myself: Can I latch on for some time and set my niche before the numbers get me?

I met a sweet one today. Happy and enthused. Work! That’s what she does. ‘Coz she loves it. I felt strengthened. Capabilities of mine? Oh, yes, I am yet to prove them to myself 1st. There’s a dense desire in me to aim and see what my best shot’s worth.

Let time make me buoyant with a cohort that I can look up to. That’d make me run that extra mile with a smile on my face and a sparkle in my eyes. A rectangular cube and a desk, is not where I want to squeeze into. I want the world for me, with arms opened wide, waiting to give me a warm beginning.

I guess I'm trying to say "Thank you"

Some time back I came across this word: Gokurousama. It means "Thank you for your troubles" in Japanese.

I instantly fell in love with it and noted it down somewhere. Today, while flipping through pages of my arbitrary invaluables, I rediscovered it and oh the pangs of nostalgia bit me hard! Today, as I turn on a new leaf in my life I want to say “Gokurousama”.

“Gokurousama! For when I had 5 years full of it I unwittingly let go of 2; today I wish I had kept them all for myself. I wish I knew! I wish I could hold it still. I wish ……”

Grace!!

when my way groweth drear .....

I enjoy making a silly glop every now n then in MS Paint
It's awesome...when a little blotch turns out to be this amazing piece of my heart - speaking out my mind .... expressing :)

well i am time-starved .... at least I am supposed to be so
but alas.... i guess my little head doesn't really get that quite right
so i wander ...... my soul knows no bound

today i buried my little impossible dreams and whoa.... i saw a world of light and colors
a riot of "YES"; a gleam of "of course my dear"
so i rise again
will i shine too? again?
i will...you see!

[the title is a portion from one of my favourite hymns "Precious Lord, Take My Hand" by Rev. Dorsey]

Let's Save :)

made in MS Paint :)

Please SAVE this cutie ....

This is Shakespeare (name courtesy Lisa) ....the name 'coz he's an avid reader. Don't believe me? Well... the VSLibrary at IIMA is his favourite hangout :p n he has that lazy-learned aura about him ;)
ok...jokes aside....He's cute, healthy, n is very affectionate. His lovely brown-black coat makes him even more irresistible n cuddly :)
He urgently needs a home; he's been a bit upset lately 'coz of lack of care and some bullying by ignorant brats around here. He's very lovable ... so do consider adopting him if you love animals or pass on the message and help him get a loving home; else people are considering euthanizing him :(
Please save Shakespeare!

The Woof Woof saga of my life – Part 1

….now that my dog-love button has been restarted I remember all those years of pure fun, kindness (not just from me to them….it came both ways), love, affection, trust …..such sweet memories!

Where it all began…..

I was an avid dog-lover…yeah avid…that’s the adjective, n yeah it had b’com a thing of my past (until recently) since 2002! The place where I grew up in was a huge ECL (Coal India) colony with high walls lining its circumference. And we had dogs …. all over the place! About 20-30 dogs including pups (mostly pure Indian breeds) populated our colony. Most of the people there, about 60 odd families, loved them.

We (my Mom, me, bhai, n our next door neighbour Mukherjee aunty) had named each of them. There was Nepali (I named him this ’coz he had those cute Asian features), Kalu (me again - well ‘coz he had a black coat, which btw was beautiful n silky), Sush (courtesy Ma - coz she was the prettiest lil white thing n Ma’am Sush was the reigning Miss Universe then), Mejo (bhai had named this one…coz it was a mid-sized dog and in Bangla…mejo is a colloquial term for the middle one), Lalmoni (Mukherjee aunty – as this one had a lush reddish-brown coat n ‘moni’ stands for the dear one :) ), Tommy (we were out of names n since we had named it’s sister lalmoni, we just found a name n started calling him that :) ), B[n]adu (ma thought he was a Bandar-mukhi – the moneky-faced one), n there were many more. We loved them all. It’s been 10 years since we’ve moved more than 150 kms away from there. Ma used to make extra chapattis for them, we played with them all the time, they got a good yelling when they did something naughty…hehe just like me n bhai :p .

Sometimes when they’d get into fights amongst themselves, I would get inside their little woofy-howly episodes and break the fight. They never attacked me. I did this ‘coz they’d get bruised n wounded in these fights n I hated that ‘coz they’d limp after that, or have a broken ear, or something as painful. But you know what…I got into trouble because of this on a strange street long back. These dogs didn’t know me n I was in the habit of trying to break these fights. When I saw them getting at each other, I stepped close n stupidly enough tried to stop them…..tried making “tch tch” sounds, yelled at them asking them to stop. And while most of them got confused and stopped, one of the full-grown males suddenly came right at me ….. I managed a narrow escape. I swore I’d never get too close to unknown ones until I had ascertained to them that I’m not there to hurt them.

I so miss those good ol’ days, n I miss Nepali – he was one of my favourite friends. I loved him n patted him …. n even though he was not one of those dogs which loved being cuddled….he loved it when I did it. I miss him! He waited for me near the colony entrance gate just around the time when I’d come back from school. He’d jump up a bit, wag his little tail, make little groaning sounds until I patted him. Then he’d go. I’d have to call out to it to bring it back n feed it. He never demanded food … just a pat n some love J. Now, I am jealous of God ‘coz he has him. I hope he’s having a great time getting the fairy services in heaven ;)

However, I will always love you n cherish those days when you were around. I miss you! Btw, you still adorn many of my secret codes n passwords …. RIP!

A quick rendezvous with my roots - Magical Shantipur

This is going to be a lllooonnngggggg one ..... so., readers beware! I have been thinking of putting up this post to share my awe at the beauty of the past.....Oh what an experience! I visited Shantipur this Holi....it's my Ma's granpa's place. Yeah yeah ... I have said this before, but quoting Ross "I havent said what I'm about to say, vis-a-vis - the following" :p
hehe....ok ok it really was an amazing experience n let me not dilute it all up with silly jokes :|
so...here's an account of my experience.
I went there with my granma, uncle, aunt, n cousin and on our way heard some amazing tales about how Holi is going to be a completely out-of-this-world experience at Shantipur. I was already excited!

This is my granma btw....isn't she beautiful!!

Ma didn't grow up in Shantipur, she just visited the place with her family, every Durga Pujo until we happened :| However, when I visited Shantipur this time, I felt connected. I had never felt this way earlier; but that's maybe 'coz I've never stayed there for more than a day, n in my whole life, I had just been there thrice earlier. I felt so connected. The huge buildings are writhing with age, but they still ooze grace and bear the marks of the blue blood that flows down its veins....hopefully some of it has trickled down to mine as well :|

I remember when I had been here in 2004 (six years back).... the hazed part (right corner) of this picture bore a continuation of this building. We stayed there for a night. It was ok then...it's all breaking down. Ahhh...it made my heart ache. The little corners still seemed to call out, "come in my child, sit down here; I still have some shade saved for you", I almost heard it say. I wish we could do something about it...save it. When i asked granny, she said that ours is a large family.....it belongs to all of us....n technically I'm not a part of it as I'm a Chakrabarty n they're the Moitras.....I'm just a tertiary branch hanging somewhere far. My uncles want to save it too.....but it's a huge deal trying to pull out the rights to work on something that belongs to "everybody"....most of whom don't even give a damn.....whatever... "it is all very complicated", I was told.

See this well? It hasn't changed...probably the only thing that looks just the same....irrespective of how many walls crumble down, how many roots turn up, it never dries. It is known as an 'Idara' in Bangla.... a well that never dries.

This portion .... arghhhh.... looks spooky...n I wasn't allowed to go in and see....apparently no one has been in there for years. Still.....looks beautiful!
This is the 'Nachghar', at the entrance gate of out house - the 'Moitra Bari'. This was the 'Nahabat Khana' were music and dance performances were held during ceremonies and festivals, in ancient times.
Well.... it's cliched hotels and guest houses like this one that I'm thankful to for letting us stay in during our visits to our ancestral house. The house is in such state now that we could not stay in there. Sad but well.... all great things come to an end...and maybe that's what's happening to us and our majestic house. I just wish we .... at least us, brothers and sisters, can save the house some day and stay there during festivals.... we all want to, our parents too...let's see if we can achieve the impossible.
Beautiful temples built by our forefathers, eras before today, still stand tall, thanks to the lovely architecture. All the temples have a unique built. They all stand high on a 8-10 feet base, and are surrounded by thick walls, with not much room inside. Maybe that's the secret...not much of suspended stuff....so they are better armored to sustain the ravages of time.

This is our 'Ananda Gopal', the baby Lord Krishna. Ahhhh...he's adorable! His little palm stretched out asking for a 'Kheer Laddu', his large eyes bearing a naughty look calling out "pamper me, wont you?". Oh...I love him...we all do and we miss him when we come back every time. Probably he'll make our wishes come true one day.
I know we can't return to Shantipur for good, but I hope we can save the land that bears our roots, so that we can visit to catch up - with siblings, distant uncles and aunts, people who we connect to oh so easily, and with a little part of our soul that's stuck there! :)

shredding n simplifying n ...... you figure it out

One fine day, when I was walking down the brick-stud lanes of IIMA, chirping like a gay robin thinking “what a pat I’d get on my back for my game theory term paper!” I was bombed. You know who dropped it on me? My current advisor, who during that time I was trying to impress with my work so that he’d agree to guide me on my juggling acts of putting together a decent dissertation. Well….when I got my senses back I realized that the injury was primarily from splinters that had lightly scraped the hell out of me….. “ooohhh….ahhhh…ouuchhhhh…phooo…phoooo”!

What he had said was this...."Patrali...what's the matter with you? your writing makes no sense". And all my life...in school, grad days....I was told that I had excellent writing skills....it all fell flat...shhmmughfffllleeee splat!

I am still recovering…don’t know if I’d ever come out of the shock. Even though experts say that I’d be fine….I don’t see any signs.

As a kid, almost all my well-wishing elders preached me the virtues of honesty, modesty, and simplicity. Well….let me tell you what I’ve got out of this thus far. Maybe it’s possible for one to muster some flair along the lines of the 1^st two ….of course you’d have to trudge rough roads a bit (me? not there yet...not even trying). And if you’re talking about attaining simplicity…..forget about it! Who would’ve thought while coining this innocent term that it wouldn’t after all be all that simple?

I realized this when I attempted writing up my research. “ooohh…aahhhhh…splinter splinter….phooooo”! The 1^st feedback I got from my then would-be advisor was that I write like I was creating a jigsaw puzzle and messing up the pieces for the reader to figure out. All the pieces were there …but if you were reading it you'd want to beat the hell out of me (the writer) and file a section 307 against me. It’s been 3 years since I was that gay robin; now.... I’m all messed up….except that now I know that I’m messed up.

So what is this simplicity….a tongue-slurping lizard of some kind? Freaking the hell out of young writers? Following is a gist of what I’ve figured out thus far. The 1^st thing we need to achieve in order to attain simplicity in writing is get the FOCUS right. Well, at the end of my thesis journey…I hope I’ve got that…for the least :p

But that doesn’t stop the damned lizard from flashing its nasty tongue at you ….. there are several other levers attached to it. It’s like a lifestyle! Being able to identify jargons from terms, being able to know when you type the equation and when you type out runny sentences to explain ….a-a-a-a….not too much…just the right amount! It’s making the work sound interesting without making the reader wonder “Boy I must be stupid; or did I miss something? Oh…check out the nice chick at 10 o’clock!”, or worse still making them go “what the hell are you reading?”

Now some side-effects of missing the catch called simplicity…. I’ve been shredding reams of copies of my whole work – spiral bound and everything…glad it’s less than 120 pages. I was told not to dump them like our usual course-mats. I have some 10 more of those lying around ‘coz my palms and fingers are sore, as there’s no shredder bot on campus. I was thinking it might be easier to eat them…. At least I’d get my daily dose of fiber…not so prevalent in our canteen menu ;) Or maybe I just need some sleep!