if nature could speak

the Optimist


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Hidden Fairy


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Miles to go before I sleep

As Management Academics Can / Should we IGNORE the gaping cleft between Industry and Academia?

Yes, there is a gap, and the reason, I believe, lies in the way we work at both ends. I work in the field of advertising and recently met a few experts to gain insights on a concept that I am working on presently. During my talks with them, I could categorize them into three types, in terms their orientation to academics.
* While some of them are aware of what's going on in the academic end of the field, they are wary of applying our recommendations because they can't think of how to operationalize them.

* The 2nd group was unaware of what happened in academia. Believe me these were celebrated creative heads in big advertising companies, and they knew what they were doing. When I pressed on "how do you know what to do and what not to do?", the almost unanimous reply was, "we have a 'gut-feel' that is pruned by years of experience".

* Finally, the 3rd kind was experts who thought that we hunted down research problems since we didn't have anything better to do. As much as I disliked this, I couldn't ignore them completely when I looked at how consistently successful they were, w/o our help, and when they pointed out how theoretically fine but operationally inapplicable quite a bit of our work was.

Solution? During the 70's, Prof. Little set the example of working on a problem and stripping it down to the level where it becomes, well manager-oriented, if we may call it that. Sharing the views expressed by some friends, Mr. Denis and Prof. Erera, "Dumbing down the report or presentation is NOT the answer". While we select a problem for research, we must screen it through the relevance filter, permitting proposals that would be of worth to practitioners in the field. Of course we can work on hypothetical ideal situations, which can serve as the reference levels for ensuing normative work. However, we shouldn't forget to add the bit where we elucidate on the "How to apply it to problems stacked up on the managers' desk".

Wittgenstein’s Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus: Can we Know the Truth?

Ludwig Wittgenstein, in his famous work ‘Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus’, enunciated that there is ONLY ONE TRUTH that occurs with mathematical certainty (e.g. 2+2 =4); if we can’t speak it we’d rather be mum about it. I believe him. There is ONE OBJECTIVE REALITY; going round-and-round uttering otiose statements about a phenomenon, claiming them to be subjective explanations of the same, is akin to gibberish to me. However, I disagree at the last bit of his argument.

Wittgenstein argued that the world is made of independent atomic facts or elementary states of affairs from which larger and composite facts/ phenomena are constructed. Language however, begins from the atomic state like the world itself, but then conglomerates into complex propositions following logic. Finally, thoughts are generated as expressions in language to capture the aforesaid facts. Like some screenshot?

So what Wittgenstein’s work propagates is:

If your thoughts aren’t able to picture the elementary states of affairs, or the ultimate truths, they are not worth being expressed. A commendably bold statement! Don’t you think? But, I have a little tussle in my head about this. How do I know that my thoughts mirror absolute truth, unless I test it out? And how do I test them if I don’t express? When I started reading Wittgenstein, I was impressed, and believe me, he’s worth reading. Not once, but multiple times; well, I say that based on my experience with his work. Going by the intellectual abilities I hold, I didn’t get him all at once, but I was hungry for more. He keeps you panting and lusting for truth. What is the ultimate reality? But it all moves like a suspense thriller, sans the revelations in the end. Disappointment? No! What I experienced was an eagerness to read it again, hoping to unravel more this time. However, this time the rush that I felt was different. At the 1^st read I was amazed, almost bowled over but his masterpiece, his ways of thinking; now I didn’t agree at many points. Well I didn’t have the alternative bits of absolute truth, but I could prove by contradiction that what was expressed was not absolutely true. While I agree that subjective musings are not permissible unless one is sincerely trying to construct explanations to phenomena, bit-by-bit, I don’t agree that if you aren’t expressing absolute truth, all at once, you should practice silence.

Now I feel that I’m going gibberish! hehe....

The only thing I’d like to say before concluding is that as a researcher it is the constant expression of my work, irrespective of the accurateness of arguments, to guides and peers that is pushing me closer and closer to the construction of an explanation of truth. Everyday, I begin by testing my reasonings and 100-lines of scribbles with my guide. I express and he points out the flaws in reasoning. I go back and reattempt to bust it, using logic, of course. I talk to peers, we brainstorm at the little flawed expressions that we have thus far, with an invincible optimism that we’ll find the explanation.

Wittgenstein was a genius and I almost cherish the moments when I read him and felt almost enlightened. However, I believe that it is only persistent and humble Expression and not Silence that has the potential to pave the way to the ultimate revelations of truth.

Valentine’s Day!

Hehe….kaka’s brief post on how “Table for One” is a very very sad expression, kinda happened to me today. Well, with a wee bit of alteration in the taste of it. It wasn’t sad at all :)

In the morning, when I woke up, I felt no extra excitement. No big celebrations lined up for me! As usual, I was greeted by a desk loaded up with a crowing pile of work….most of which yelled out to me “attend to me today, my dear, it’s been my turn for sooo long now”. “Sure”, I said and rushed to get ready for work. I made myself my usual cup of steaming honey tea, spiced up with lemon n dried ginger, and sat at my desk to start with my emails. None…..Sir hadn’t replied, so no meetings today. As I was opening Orkut I took the ^st sip from my cup & as always, I burnt my tongue and cursed myself “Every Day!” Just then Banani’s scrap flashed in front of my eyes….”Happy Valentine’s Day Patru…from me n Punkoo”. “Oh Wow! It’s Valentine’s Day today…..the BIG Day of Looooove!” :D

I remembered Pk…..my friend from college who had been my V-Day companion during most of my grad n undergrad days. We would turn up for classes, but due to the extremely low attendance, the Profs would dissolve classes for the day. Hence, we’d start with “Oh No!” but then make an impromptu trip to some place. She’d be all “let’s go to some place close n safe", n I’d be all “Shut Up….we’ll make a day of this n go to some place awesome”. Needless to say….my plan won and we would end up making fabulous trips to old temples, deserted dams, etc, nibbling at village junks from dhabas, n road-side pan shops. All the while however, Pk would be excited about the amount of fun that we were having, but was damned scared about….. “if we get into any trouble, my parents will kill me” n the likes :) & I’d say….. “don’t worry….I’m Here; I’ll protect you”. Somehow she believed me….n I felt as if it was my duty to take care of her :D

‘Twas fun!

Today I remembered all of that n thought le’me have some fun. I also decided that at the end of the day, I’d pen it down in my journal or here…..so it must be Gooood fun :)

How’d I have fun? I find Ahmedabad a bit starved of places that are like sweet nothings that aren’t hyped, where there’s no need for pockets loaded with money; there are Malls and big fancy tourist spots. I didn’t feel like any of that. Kankaria Zoo? Naahh….

So I stepped out, bought a large bar of chocolate n kept munching on it for some time while I wondered about how to Treat myself to a V-Day dose of fun. ordered a small-sized pizza (yeah…for one), a Coke (unlike me) and watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. …… again...about 3-5 episodes. Hehe…..then I made this piece of something on MS Paint and named it ‘Dreams’….with a hue for every feeling & emotion. Call'd up mom n dad to remind them of V-Day...so that they don't miss out on their share of fun for the day :)

I Didn’t study at all :p

I'm sure most of you would think...what was fun in this? But I enjoyed myself....it felt like treating myself to some goodies. Off Work.....phew :p

Maybe will work a bit now….. :D ..... or read something nice? fun is intoxicating & addictive :p
"God save me"....must get back on track....Today? :| tomorrow maybe :p

Happy Valentine's Day!!

the best summary of my Dream Resolution for 2009 :p

Reflections .......

5 years ago I was....in a mess. Had no time to think about my studies. Dad was sick, and all we wanted was to get him back and be happy!

5 months ago I was.... all over the place with my dissertation. I was working on designing my experiments that was kind of getting into the final mould

5 hours ago I was...enjoying a happy dinner at CT :)

5 minutes ago I was...replying to a dbab msg from a junior

5 things on my to-do list today...meet profs n discuss my work, finish revision of the proposal submission, talk to VVR, meet MICA students and guide them on the remaining work with ad designs, and Exercise!

5 things I would do if I became a billionaire... buy a pretty house for us, save up a bit for the future, build an animal care farm and hospital, buy a BMW Sedan, build a swimming pool for us :)

5 of my bad habits.... procrastination, am overtly finicky about my loved ones, love being pampered by my loved ones, love chocolates so much that I have a bar everyday :p , irregular sleep hours 5 good memories... my childhood spent with bro and parents, school days, stage shows in dance and music, day when I got call from IIMA, and happy times spent with my best friends – Banani, Rosy, BU gang, and Jhalbagan playmates :)

5 films/TV shows that I watch over and over again... Friends, Sholay, Mr. India, Baby’s Day Out, and Gone with the Wind

5 places I've loved and can revisit... Jhalbagan (where I grew up with my childhood buddies), my School (A.G. Church, Asansol), Kanya Kumari in Tamilnadu, IITD, and Ranigunj

5 activities I love... Music, Dance, Reading and Research along my interest areas, Writing, and Cooking

5 things most people don't know about me... that I freak out at the thought that I’ll grow fat again :p , I am absolutely obsessed with the thought of being famous and successful in academics and music, …. That was 2 together,3 in all!!..... I love to eat (good stuff), and I am a big fan of some of my teachers and never want to go away from them :)

5 weird wishes/ fantasies…. I wish I didn’t need sleep….that’d save so much time, I wish I could read and work all day (not getting tired), I wish I could remember all the stuffs that I read and worked on, I wish I could meet John Nash, JDC Little, Dilip Abreu, and APJ Abdul Kalam and work with them, I wish I was a famous singer and dancer

5 things that I’m senti about….. mom, dad, bhai, best pals, and my aims and inspirations

5 things that inspire me….. Work done by great people (Nash, Little, Chakravarti, etc.), Lifestyles that some of my idols maintain (DT, APJ Abdul Kalam), Sujoy Sir’s encouraging discussions and pep talks, Discussions with my parents, bro, and best pal, and my Ultimate ambitions and wishes

5 books I love to death... Dockner, Long, etc.’s Differential Games in Eco and Mgmt Sc., Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind + Ripley’s Scarlett, Ken Follet’s Jackdaws, Tirole’s Industrial Organization, and Goon, Gupta, Dasgupta’s Outline of Stat. Theory

5 things I love to eat... Chocolates (the darker the better), Salads, Fruits (esp. Kiwi fruits, plums, oranges, apples, pear, papaya, …… Godddd..u name them!!), fish, and coolers (ice candies included)

5 destinations I'm dying to see... Australia, Kashmir, My brother’s place (now), U.K., and Niagra falls (bro keeps praising this one….he’s been there thrice already)

5 scents I love... food that mom cooks, scent of my Dad, roses, scent of fresh rain after dry summers, and dark chocolates

5 things I want to do before I die (my Bucket List)….. publish is ace journals in my field, be a famous singer (at least one hit album :p ), learn French Ballet, perform a fusion no. at least once in front of a huge live audience, and be absolutely satisfied with the way that I’ve spent my life - before I shed my last breath :)

Reply to ......

......Sudhakar's post
In your list u miss'd the recent Ahmedabad, Delhi, Mumbai, serial blasts, in which at least 100 civilians lost their lives.....n still the list managed to look so long n sickening that by the time i reached the end I felt fatigued, nauseous, disgusted, helpless, n crammed with so many more such feelings that I couldn't even identify. Are we zombies? Of course not! I feel all these things every time an innocent is killed by a silly terrorist. What do I do for it? NOTHING! n I'm sure this statement holds for most of us.....WE DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!
I get your exasperation n disgust at such incidents, I feel the same, I feel weak n heavy at heart, but are u sure we can question the good souls that are tirelessly trying to keep our borders safe? India is a huge nation n surrounded by land on 3 sides. How are we supposed to ensure absolutely zero infiltration? Something like 1 army-man at every foot of land at the border? Even if we think crazy for a while n implement this....have you pictured the kind of terrain that we have at the borders? Yeah....Infiltration is a problem. But I guess what's ailing the system is us and not incompetent forces. They are clearing the filth that we strew every time; they save us out of our own mess, n in the process lay their own lives.
You wanna see why I say that we are the main culprits?
Look at the malls, some of our airports, the railway stations. It's easier to guard smaller places....agree? Hey we were talking of the lengthy borders of our country!
We enter w/o even stepping on the metal detector boards in railway stations, n nobody cares.....nobody...not even us! In flashy malls the security personnel stand with their metal detector gadgets and carelessly run the things over our bodies, not even caring to inspect the millions of beeps that emanate. I feel disgusted every time....but I admit I never went up to the security head out there to report this callousness. I mean hey...we're talking about Taj n Trident.....how could such huge loads of ammunition seep in? Can't we implement a check-system even for luggage? I mean c'mon the whole country's security has been at stake for so long now. Just a bit of flashy security to signal that we are on the alert every second. N real security....not mere pretense that anybody can see through. Like I could see in the malls n some of our airports.
Can we take one small step at a time....OURSELVES? But hey....no 'Rang De Basanti' stuff.....as much as I was touched by the movie....in retrospect I felt it's silly to even think that way. Let's take small sensible steps to ensure our own safety! For beginners.....I pledge to talk to the security head in the Ahmedabad & Kolkata malls, next time I spot this callousness.....Will you too? He'll be adamant? n tell us to mind our own business? We'll lose 5 precious minutes? But u know what....they'll tighten up the system if they see that we care n are ready to get serious if they fool with us.
Let's do this! Let's try for God's sake! Let's wake up n save ourselves!

Sequel......

As the 'Divine Mother' peeks through the clouds, I can feel her.
She's all excited and has started packing for herself n her kids n yeah the sweet Lord Shiva too.....'coz by now she has known that he's going to come down too and play peek-a-boo with us, while he makes sure that everything is safe for all that he cares for: 'us' :)
I can't wait to see you all here; happily blessing us all and partying for five days, while we run around you trying to make you happy.
Come down quickly O' Dear Durga, come down and enchant us with your divine beauty, your sanctity, your eternal love, your faith on us that we will be good no matter what we've given to you thus far! Come and bathe us all in your holy divinity and bless the world as always!

Assessing ROI from blah…blah….blah….

‘Word of Mouth’ (WoM) is the buzzword today. What and How do our customers think? What are their beliefs? What do they value most? What would they like to have? ….are just a few questions that every business needs to keep track of in order to be out there. Simple as these little questionettes sound, they are the hardest to answer. A customer’s WoM can provide a gist of answers to all of the above. So, let’s go for it! Companies today are effervescent with ways to tack down every WoM that directly/indirectly relates to them. The Idea is to invade the coterie by becoming a part of it, or to just create one, to figure out what people think. Given that consumers are more expressive to a larger audience now, tasks are simpler now than how they were even a decade ago.

Expressions are ON: blogs, social networking sites and groups therein, RSS, chat threads, you name it! So, the catch is to keep track of any conversation that involves the company concerned, assess it, and register it by feeding it back on the relevant ROI measure.

Johnson & Johnson, Nike, Reebok, Horlicks, Sunsilk,…are companies that have taken to hold reins in their own hands. They’ve created interactive sites where consumers can choose their preferred segment (e.g. Reebok – Women – Style – etc.), engage in an activity of their choice, or just chat with fellow consumers. The activities available for consumers in such sites are most often designed to extract information on what they like, or would like, in disguise of a fun-game or an activity that interests. Check the Sunsilk ‘Gang of Girls’, Horlicks Women site (http://www.indianwomenshealth.com/index.aspx), or Reebok site for instances. The purpose is simple and the process runs in cycles: read their minds, reflect and entice them, re-read them, ……and stay on top forever. It is after the re-reading exercise that ROI assessments can be made. There are several ways to gauge ROI from the ‘blabber’.

• # of times your brand was uttered in a thread/forum/…
• - An evaluative assessment of ‘in what light was it uttered’ (+ve, -ve, neutral), and accounting likewise.
• An assessment of where the brand stands vis-à-vis what consumers want from a particular product (class/type)
• What is the spread?
• How many different types of people/communities have shown interest in your brand?
• Consumers’ intention to purchase the brand
• For the 1^st time
• Repeatedly
• Conclusion from a specific discussion (mostly relevant for assessing chat threads)
• Simply tracking the # instances where a particular brand was searched for on Google, Yahoo, and the likes

There can be other ways, or a mix (2 or more) of the above ways (whichever is more relevant for the brand concerned) to assess ROI from discussions on the web.

The bottom-line is: We have known and respected the value of C2C ever since competition crept in and we knew that we had to aim for the customers HEAD and HEART. However, that we are going for it and incorporating it in our performance metrics is a recent phenomenon (though quite sparse till date) and it definitely gives us a more assuring image of where we stand, not just today, but also in the near future. Knowing what consumers are looking for has become a lot easier now, and whoever gives that a miss is going to be missed soon in the rat-race for enticing and befriending the smart info-savvy consumer.

Advertising.....at it's Worst!

"Over the line? You're so far past the line that you can't even see the line. The Line is a Dot to you!" ...... Joey (F.R.I.E.N.D.S) to Chandler when Chandler was trying to apologize by saying how he realized that he had gone over the line.

Well, this could be said to another set of people too :-)

I recently read this article in ‘Advertising Age’ about a particular viral ad on air for the Extended Stay Hotels (ESH). I couldn't wait to come back to my room and check the ad myself. You know how ads are supposed to be Attractive? Yeah … that’s the word…. ‘ATTRACTIVE’ = Interesting & hence, Rememberable, for the featured product/brand/….

I guess the creative team at Mullen, Winston-Salem didn’t quite get that link. As per one of their creative pieces for the ESH, an ad should be just Rememberable……by hook or by crook. So, when they were at there ridiculous best, they designed this ad where a pretty brainless lass enters an ESH room, heads straight for the sink and cutlery area, opens the drawer and picks up a spoon. She takes a keen look at it and….. Golly…..she licks it, front and back and?????? You tell me what next!
Yeah she keeps it back, from where she had picked it.
Yukkkk!

Then she moves around the room, licks everything that she could lay her hands on. No one has spoken anything yet in the ad.
To the horror of people who are still watching the ad, she enters the bathroom. Yes…she does! She licks the bath curtain, looks naughtily at the camera and starts licking the toilet seat and bowl. The ad ends when she looks, very happily at the camera and says “Very Clean!” Next she displays her palm to us where we read “extstay.com”.
I said, “What????”

So, these “creative” bunch of people went over the line [Yes creative in QUOTES ….. if whoever makes an ad is supposed to be tagged as creative; I’d tag them Stupid, and so Stupid that they didn’t realize that they should’ve buried this shameful evidence of their bizarre heads, as soon as they had seen what they had made]! How could they make it, and how could the ESH group buy it and, worse still, Air it?

The ad is on the internet; no background music or fancy backdrop. The idea was probably to make it look original, aiming to give the audience a feel of the cutting edge ‘Word of Mouth’ impact. Yeah they have done their home-works in reading ‘what’s IN’, but have happily chucked out ‘what’s Sensible’.

People would hate this ad so much, that they’d remember ESH alright, but whenever they do, even when they’re trying to pick one hotel, they’d wince at the gross display of licked stuffs….EVERYWHERE at ESH. Who’d buy them?

What the Bling was worth…..

The best brains of the world were riding the bling of working at the fancy designer back-office. Floating on this back-office bubble since the late 1990’s, we were wrenching and writhing our brains in shuffling and reshuffling papers and trading them between pockets. A whopping 200,000+ work at present in the securities industry, in the NY state alone. What we desperately need at all times (not just at times like today) is a fair delegation of our grays (young and old) amongst both back and front offices. Engineers, entrepreneurs, VCs, …. we need them all: synchronized and complementing each other, in every heave with the macro-tunes. In following the lust for the mint, we had lost focus from the invincible laws of sustenance: ‘Create AND Manage’; we were all hogging at the latter. As an article in Wall Street Journal signed out today…. “The market has indeed spoken……It’s time to get back to work. Real Work”.

short of the last buck ....

The sky's been roaring today; since morning.
"Why are you angry?" I asked him. "& who're you angry at?"
"Myself!" he snapped back, wearing a pout.
"Why? What did you do?"
"Nothing" he sighed and looked at me, still pouting.
I tugged at his grumpy cheek and asked - "Then what makes you angry my dear?"
He looked at me, confused now; "ahh.... I want to clutch myself and colour me so loud that the world would shine in my light. But I'm so bored!"
Someone had said that Success is 99% inspiration and 1% perspiration. Its that last little buck that my friend is short of. I can't find that last buck either. How should I help him?

Inspired......

Today, I started off in the lousy way that has been usual for me of late. At 2:30 I headed for the LAN (that’s what we call our FPM workstation). Completed some regular chores and headed back toward the Wing 11 Committee Room, where Solo’s Thesis Seminar was to be. Solo is a very sincere n down-2-earth doctoral participant here, working under one of my guides.

I sat there, yeah I knew he was sincere n everything, but didn’t hope to get this inspired by the end of the SHOW. He did an excellent job; had answers to everything, even the small little technical untenables had been backed up so well, or at least acknowledged! He sure has worked hard n sincerely so; and it came out all through the talk.

I wish I can work with such immense sincerity. Great patience and modesty goes behind this kind of output. Hats off Solo! Wish you all the best in life :-)

My current Roznamcha......

.....has been reduced to scheduling, n rescheduling….'coz I’ve been erring a lot lately in keeping up with my schedules. Blame it on……
yeah…..me :-\
I’m pathetically lethargic these days;
I don’t want to work….but I’m dead serious about sticking to the deadlines.
I have to…Really!

My days have been reduced to tea, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., a little bit of leafing through the planned work, some more tea, some more F.R.I.E.N.D.S., n gallons of guilty consciousness.

Helpppppp!

Celebrating Independence......

I am Independent enough!
Going by the eidos of our community, I am independent enough:
I expect much, I give some, I get quite a handful, a mouthful, and a soulful;
I am quenched enough!
As goes one of those million pep-sayings, "Reach for the skies! If you happen to miss, you'll still be among the stars";
I kinda stick at least to the 1st 1/3rd of it :-)
So, who gives a damn about the beau monde; whatever keeps my adrenaline kicking, my pulse ticking, & me - significant enough!

Happy Independence Day!

There's no looking back

Who am I, where am I headed?
When I cry, I melt less and freeze more;
I freeze so strong, I'm almost virile.
My mind's a one-way traffic lane now -
There's no looking back;
There can't be any.
I look ahead.
I can see my guiding light again;
The divine glow that has steered me thus far.
I'm happy that my little car doesn't have a good rear-view mirror.
The one that hangs in front of me is tarnished -
with the moisture that was shed uncouth.
This mirror gives me the creeps; I don't look back!

My life's always been a colorful wardrobe that belongs to some celeb; like.....well.....David Beckham. Destiny decides what I'm going to wear today.... & believe me she's moody; n she's unannounced; gives me no clue as to what I'd look like on any day; n sometimes, she's whimsical - giving me a myriad set of looks on one particular day. God help me!
Recently one of my most colorful hawaiian shirts got wasted :-(
coz this stupid destiny of mine came n blew its soggy monsoon nose into it. It was such a beautiful shirt; gave me the carefree holiday look whenever I wore it; n yeah....it was priceless :-(

want to write something.....something nice....ok something palatable?
something........anything?????
but no more about life n its huge fundaas
phew......life's more worth than that :-p
so......let's face it -
not much fun happening these days :-|
well.....am happy n working ......day n night
yeah....what did you think....i'm some crazy blogaddict to be typing in at around 3 in the morning?
just wanted to write something before calling it a day :-)
hmm.......well.....just a few minutes back .... i kinda yelled at kaka for typing some c*** on his blog :-p
n here i am filling the world with some more of that :D
but ..... who cares ;-)
whatever makes me happy.....or .....happy?
neways...this is getting too confusing
i've typed it....so i'll just put it on
as i said...."who cares?"
u still reading this?
whoa.....this is the c****iest thing i've ever typed....i guess :-p
i mean :-\
i hope :-p

a tiny tale....

There was a mouse, a tiny little one,
Lived in a hole, furnished retro-style;
That wasn’t her style, that’s who she was,
Ready to embrace the world in arms flung wide.

Tiny as they were, not much caught the hug
But she was so happy, she hugged tight;
So tight that she missed a few breaths
But she was happy; What’s a breath worth?

This tiny mouse, the mouse that hugged us so,
Didn’t know where she was going wrong,
A hug so tight and arms so small
At one time not much remained with her.

One by one they slipped and went,
Cursing her that she’d hurt them so.
Ahh…she said, I can’t live less
I want to live like Ulysses;
I want to hug so tight that it’s all mine
& I’ll live like this, I know I’ll be fine.

So our little mouse, who lived retro-style
Is happy clinging to - a few that remain;
The few that don’t care how much her hugs hurt
They’re just happy that they can stay close,
They’re just fine that she’s a happy mouse,
They’ll be there whoever comes and goes.

So let’s just hope that our little mouse
Learns to hug less tight, so that at least her owns
Aren’t ever hurt, ‘coz she doesn’t want it so;
She’s a silly mouse, a mouse we can cling to.
She’ll care, she’ll love, but she’ll hurt unaware,
But the lord will help her learn, let that be our prayer!

"The Bucket List" (2007)

“Live life to the fullest” or “drink life to the lees”, or something else that rings the same, were sayings that I thought I understood n well….liked too. But today I watched this Rob Reiner movie, n now I guess I know I understand better what these strings in “__” mean.

Want to know what would be the ideal way to live? Watch this movie! Man…..I loved it!

I guess it’s one of the most wonderful & touchy stories ever narrated. & with the cast as in this one, it couldn’t have gone wrong….Jack Nicholson (JN) & Morgan Freeman (MF). I loved the way this story was gradually loosened into me. The theme is a damn emotional one…..but could it have been any more subtle?

Two cancer patients, Cole (aged about 80 n played by JN) & Carter (aged around 70 and played by MF), about to die in 6-10 months meet in a hospital; they were sharing a room there. Well, Cole is rich….filthy rich, to be precise; standing as the sole owner of his bn dollar empire, which he himself had built from scratch. Carter, a walking encyclopedia, is more of a simple family guy, with a huge n loving family. He, once while sitting on his bed, scribbles down his crazy ‘bucket list’…..a list of everything that he wanted to do/accomplish before he “kicked the bucket”. Cole, the naughtiest kid I’ve ever been told of, gets hold of this, adds his bit into the list, and very ‘matter of fact -ly’ proposes to Carter that they do everything that is on the list – n do it together! Sounds Crazy? Here’s the list……it’s crazier than almost everything else in this world.

1. Experience something majestic
2. Help a complete stranger
3. Kiss the most beautiful woman
4. Go Sky-diving
5. Get a tattoo
6. Drive a racing car
7. Get in touch with the person that matters most
8. See Taj Mahal, Pyramids, Great Wall of China, Hong Kong,…

& I didn’t imagine the majesty of each of the items until I saw it get executed. 1, 3, & 7 were the most beautiful ones. U must see it to get the feel. It looks like a touchy theme, but believe me…..it’s amongst the cutest stories ever told.

Cole is so cute u’d want to grab his cheeks n say “O, u naughty little baby!” Carter on the other hand is majestic, elegant, gracious, calm (perfectly suited for MF)….Cole started calling him “Ray” later; he didn’t explain why…..but Ray he was! Cole is cute, impractical, n lives by his impulses; Carter, more practical….hence, u know….. more fearful of stuffs like sky-diving with a lung cancer on. That part was a fun watch. I dunno,….I can blabber on n on about this one…..but guess u should catch ur own fun n experience of this helluva story.

Loved it n will cherish it :)

Ain't he adorable?

Calvin! The cutest kid ever :) I guess I can never get enough of him, no matter how much I keep collecting his stickers. Well, although the Calvin comics are referred to as sardonic, I seem to differ. I feel that he's extremely cute, albeit smart for a 6 year old, and completely adorable. Yup.....6 year old; look at the 1st strip here n you'll se why :)
And then there are these cute statements that he makes so often; one which I almost cherish, "You don't get to be mom if you can't fix everything just right!" Haha.....he said this to Hobbes once, when he was in a fix.....n I promise, I could go on and on......with Calvin n Hobbes (his cute stuffed tiger). Some other features of C&H which gets me into fits of laughter are his Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS club (main target Susie Derkins), his snowman games, his reactions to food (see the 2nd strip above), the completely crazy games of Calvin Ball, and his cute interactions with Susie Derkins.
Some sources say that Watterson portrayed the French theologist John Calvin in the form of our little buddy......dunno.....but yup Calvin's cute questions on the existence of God and then his immediate fear that he might have offended Him do insist on his belief in Him; but hey, aren't we going too far in interpreting that in some complex philosophical light? He's a kid, and his concerns are so innocent, wonder how we can't see that clear!
Whatever......Ilove Calvin.......n he's simply a very cute, witty, naughty, n really curious little kid to me :)
I pray Mr. Watterson.....please resume your Calvin creations. That's why you must've been sent to this world. Please, please come back :)

& my WORLD waits for me.....

Before today, I was continuously slipping the fact that I had come to the world due to just two people.....well not quite so alone (as someone hath said); but as far as my life's concerned, it has almost entirely been endowed with selfless blessings/wishes, sound guidance, and abundant friendship (be it from my little brother, my schoolmates, or my parents).

Recently, my dear baba had a pulmonary crisis. According to the ABG and lung capacity tests, only 22% of his lungs is functional, with a CO2 level of 46 (the upper-limit being 45) and O2 levelof 65, instead of 95+. But take a look at this gem of a man and he's oozing optimism, tons of love for ma, bhai, & me, and sincerity toward his people (that includes practically everybody that is alive). He's asmile always; never complaining about anything, and mentally so active, that if he's exhausted his to-do list for the time being, he'll be planning some pranks to pester ma :) That' s baba - completely adorable & oh such a kid!

Today while returning to Ahmedabad, I felt as if baba wanted me to stay back for a wee bit longer; to play and react to his pranks, listen to his little friendly pep talks (that are always so alive that I am never tired of hearing), play a game of ludo with him and fight like kids over who eats up whose pawns, or just pamper him with a few tingly strokes on his back to lull him of to a sweet siesta. I wanted to stay too, but I had to leave - have "miles to go" - before I can huddle back to him and stick by him forever.

Friends.....

Well….I admit I’d been away for a whi…le :p
But anyways….I’m back now ….. & this is what brought me back:

Was trying to find one of the very important articles on Comparative Advertising, & this is what I found in the pile:-
An (apparently) useless piece of paper, with some scribbling on it. Whatever had been scribbled in also had a title – Personal Relations
& golly I was pushed back in time…well….some 15 days back when I had just had a silly fight with one of my closest pals :(
Matter? Don’t remember….just that ‘twas too trivial. Anyways, we had different opinions on some matter & were trying to show each other our resp. points of view. While this was continuing for some time….we suddenly entered a cold war kind of situation & yup, that was it. We resumed our resp. works with uncanny walls of ego getting taller & itchier every second. I went up to my pal, offered him a sandwich that I had got for lunch, and said “let’s forget this silly fight” …. pat came the reply “there’s nothing wrong; you’re simply pulling it too long for no reason”…..& though my head said “forget it”, my silly heart couldn’t & kept telling me “settle it or let it sulk at the back of your heads growing heavier n itchier”.

Ah….women! : ….. why can’t we let things be & move on? You know what …… it doesn’t work that way …. If you don’t solve a problem – however puny – it’s sure to stay there …. It definitely can’t solve itself. Well….if you can afford to let it be don’t juggle your head off on it ….. but if the person or matter is important ….. you need to disentangle the whole DAMNED thing ….. phew!
Well this is what I believe, guess this is what most women believe ….. that explains why we’re fussier :p
But that also makes us SMARTER :)

Anyways….I was restless…..I wanted to resolve it & my friend (obviously a male, who couldn’t see the importance and pleasantness of the solved state) chose to mum-up to the matter. So, I chose to vent it out on a piece of paper; & this is what I wrote:

PR
Well, many would believe that some things are best when left unfinished. Hah…..I don’t believe this when the aforesaid “some” crosses all bounds of “some”ness to reach the universal set. Well, I don’t mind quitting a lifeless project halfway or even 99/100th way (for that matter) when I see that ‘twas a mistake to get started on it; but I need to see stout reason why ‘twould not work. & when it comes to PR, when some things have gone wrong, I need to clear up the clutter (however small) before I can rest – at ease.
This silly fight with my dear pal has stretched on to a brawl of words, & before things could be settled, what’s come in the way is our dear set of egos….

I hadn’t finished …when my dear friend came up to me & snatched this paper off me n read it. & here’s what he added
“Fight is over & now we are eating sandwiches. No ego can come between us!! That’s what makes our friendship so strong; & it will only grow stronger!!! AMEN!”

Happy ending! :)

The Silver Gleams of William Shakespeare

"The earth that’s nature’s mother is her tomb;What is her burying grave, that is her womb" …. Father Laurence, 'Romeo & Juliet'.
William Shakespeare, apart from Rabindranath Tagore, Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Rudyard Kipling, and Robert Frost, has been a major philosophic inspiration to my life. Shakespeare saw the beauty of the corollaries and expressed the essence of every feeling or character. Be it virtuous or viced, Shakespeare had the eye to enjoy the beauty of it all.
"from hour to hour we ripe and ripe,then from hour to hour we rot and rot" …. designed to be mouthed by Touchstone, As You Like It: Shakespeare created picturesque characters in his plays, sometimes framed as the court jester Touchstone or at other times as the melancholy Jaques, in ‘As You Like It’, or as the foolish Greek Champion Ajax, in ‘Troilus and Cressida’: characters that spoke the bare essence of life.
“What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties! In form and moving, how express and admirable! In action how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me; no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.” …. spoken by Hamlet, when he is fickled about deciding whether man is noble or evil….is one of my favorites. What inspires me in Shakespeare’s work is his ability to realize the silver lining even behind the darkest of clouds, his ability to make smiles out of the gravest of graves, and his ability to inspire so well through petty fiction. He can mock life and admire it….all at once, and express his gratitude for being what he is even when he is mouthing his inconveniences. Hail thee!

Something in my soul tells me that I am drifting far away from where my aim lies. So far away – that I let myself drift off to virility – where I’m more than the mere me; I’ve free wings n I can soar higher n higher....

An Ode to Researchhood......

Finally I'm through with the hectic compre season, studded with miles 'n' miles of bits to study, n aeons spent in front of subjects I detest muggin'up, but have to....'coz this is what will draw me closer to the ultimate work I've been wanting to do for so long now :)

........... Research ~ on the field, that interests me most .............

Research: What of it?
To me, research starts everyday – in the little queries we have and the endeavours we make to quench them. Sometimes it’s as trivial n playful as wondering why the little bird comes and coo’s at my window sill everyday, or, why those little squirrels chirp so shrill n loud when they’ve managed to lay their puny hands on the best nuts they could spot. See? Research is fun! It’s like looking for the perfect answers to the most interesting questions we could imagine.

Well, the definition of the term research says that it’s a “systematic” endeavour, into satiating some kinda quest for knowledge. Ahh…..now the definition drains out all the fun….Damn!
But whoa…..let not silly dictionaries swivel our foci!

Ever since I got over with the muggin’ portions of our ‘compre’, I, for the first time was granted the official n unofficial luxury of embedding myself full-fledgedly into THE research topic that interests me most [P.S. this condition, in me, had been diagnosed some 7-8 years back, n I am yet to satiate this little inquisitive lump in me that I’d been quelling all this time]. Man….am I happy!

Research is fun n it’s a challenge when you embrace it officially. It’s like getting married to someone you never had known before….n now that it’s official you’d have to strive to make the best out of it. If you succeed, the fruits are all yours n if you don’t…..u’re dead meat! ;)

The fun part of doing research is that u’re workin on a topic that inetersts u most; what’s funner - is that when u’re tryin to quench this interesting interest in u, u find urself getting into some kinda ‘chakra-vyuh’ studded with more interesting stuff. The way out is to stay focused (ofcourse u can designate some of those interesting encounters as ur future quest topics) n to look at the whole thing as some kinda jig-saw puzzle – fit the right pieces together, n EUREKA u have urself enlightened with the solution. Ahh…..now comes the funnest part of researchhood: u’re in a happy trance - completely satisfied - sometimes jeopardized - but that only loops u deeper into resarch - further tanced, it’s some kinda viscous intoxication….marijuana? whatever…..but it’s absolute fun; n the best part is that people don’t shun u for ur intoxication….haha…..they just admire u……Nuts!
Haha……try it folks…..research is the best thing u could do to allay ur wandering intellect, forget ur fears, bid adieu to ur tears, & earn a ransom in pennies n Crowns!

Mother~~~~

She's sensitive, she's beautiful, she's an epitome of grace n passion - her heart the subtlest of God's creations.

She is a believer, her naivette due to her faith on emotions - she makes herself the sacrifice, in pursuit of smiles for her people.

She adds hues to the world; hues that touch n sprinkle on the days n nights - weaving in strings of love, faith, and life all around.

She sacrifices herself for her passions n emotions; her breaths entwined in the smiles of her loved ones, her concerns whirling around the well-being of her dear.

She smiles to herself, when she's struck by our hardness, n forgets it as another naive mistake that we made; never a complaint or frown doth mark her face then.

"Why do you not look after yourself, n care for all that's good just for you?" I ask with surprise.

"That's what I'm doing child" she says.

All of a sudden, I remember the ol' mother in Bhisham Sahni's 'The Boss Comes to Dinner'. I fly back to that tender age of mine n wince at the rememberance of how I had hated the son who had just cared for himself n his own interests! No, his mother had not featured in his list of interests; she was no more than a pest in his posh n aesthetic house; atleast that's what he felt in the story. I never wanted to be like him. Never, ever!

Today, when trying to define grace and feminism, with my new-found passion of creating art on the computer, I drew this beautiful lady. Ahh.....I smiled, she's beautiful! I had imagined that she had caught her sari on something, some prickly bushes? Ahhhh.....she's my Mother, n the bushes - us, clinging on to her, while she walks us ahead to a glorious dawn, compromising the pace of her advancement for the sake of bright tomorrows of her dear ones - us!

Unbelievable, wondrous, mystic, n absurd, or should I call you simply irrational?! Whatever it is, probably I'll never understand completely; but I love you Mom, n will rush to the warmth of your lap as soon as I can!

Water, water, everywhere.......

a spectacle......

A canon-ball sent by the Gods,

Gleaming through the woods divine,

Has landed at my humble door

N' washed my heart with ruthless whine.

"Arise, awake, n off u go"

Whisper my friendly woods to me,

"Don't dare look up at the canon balls,

Or u'll set off in the poetic spree"

"hehe....i say, poet? me?

Have i ever heard you crazier than this?"

And lo-behold, now that I can't stop scribbling,

Lines 2s and 4s meet a rhythmic kiss.

Awash.....................

It has finally started raining here in Ahmedabad.
Phew.....what a relief!

The balcony to my room overlooks this beautiful tree-couple ~ KrishnaChuda n RadhaChuda ~ nature's own replicas of the passionate lord-lovers ~ Sri Krishna n Sri Radha.

Decorating my little balcony everyday, as if it were a lush palanquin, these two trees have become real dear to me now. They lend me support when I'm depressed, share my smiles when I'm happy, pose for me whenever I'm haunted by the pangs of my little camera, and bless me all the time. I must be having almost hundred beautiful snaps of them.....dressed in the lovely hues of the different seasons.

This.... is the season of the 'Showers'. The lords are awash with glittering droplets of water, and they look beautiful.

KrishnaChuda.........this is what we Bengalis call the Gulmohar (delonix regia). Well....KrishnaChuda would literally mean dark-topped.... or does it have something to do with Lord Krishna's head-decor? Krishna, mostly sported this beautiful little crown, adorned with the top of a peacock's feather: well....that makes sense.....KrishnaChuda (as the name of the flower is) must be meaning this ornate band on Lord Krishna's forehead.

More often than not, this tree is seen alongside another beautiful tree RadhaChuda (again a bengali nomenclature), and the two trees are imagined together as Cupid's hit on the lords - Radha 'n' Krishna. 'RadhaChuda', also known as the 'Golden Shower' tree has smaller and subtler flowers, and it looks beautiful mostly when coupled with the KrishnaChuda. Ahhhh.....the wonderous art of Nature! Many beautiful streets in Kolkata are flanked by these beautiful fiery lovers and it's a splendor when the lush Bengali breeze lulls the blossoms off their branches, into unision, to the ground beneath the huge trunks.

My room feels so Bengali (or should I say bangali?) under the splendor of these two new friends of mine ~ n they've been pamperng me with these beautiful gifts everyday. Waking up, every morning, to a beautiful spread of petals greeting my room, only to end the day with sweet goodnight kisses with yet another bevy of lush blossoms.....boy, am I pampered?

Being a Good Girl …………

“…..all the things I deserve for being such a good girl”

What are the “things” that I’d deserve if I be a good girl? Well, God’s must’ve been crazy to have said that we should work without expecting results! How can one work without looking up to a goal of achieving something?
Hmmm…….. yeah, now that I’m desperately trying to get over my short-temperedness and habits of being clingy to and fussy ‘bout any issue, I really want to know how my world would look after (if ever) I achieve it :)
The work sounds simple, but take it from me, this whole exercise is proving to be very painful and grilling. There are moments when I have to fight with myself to stop myself from reacting to some situation: situations that pop in big, small, and, on most occasions, unprecedented. Anyways, letting bygones be bygones, all I have to concentrate on , apart of course from compre preps, is my temperament.
Haha…….. as Jiah Khan had punctuated vigorously, the classy ‘Nishabd’, with her casual “Take Light”, I literally want to implement this in my life.
Phew…………..

On Ken Follet's “Jackdaws”

Diana was too grand to do the menial war work that most women were offered. “Well, I’m here to propose something more interesting.” ……“Flick, darling, don’t tell me you’re involved in cloak-and-dagger stuff.”

In Jackdaws (JD), Ken Follet (KF) created an outstanding World War II thriller, resplendent with drama, action, emotion, and a patriotic passion among its ubiquitous and stirring fem fatales. JD, a historical novel, is the story of how an “all-female” special operations team planned and executed the destruction of a Gestapo communications centre in France, right on the eve of D-Day.

The title of the novel is actually the code name of the small all women squad, created and run under the supervision of Felicity Clairet, alias Flick, a British army Major. Though a fiction, JD mimics the true story of fifty women spies who were sent to France on a very similar mission. Flick, on lines akin, has imaged very closely the real life of Pearl Witherington. With Flick KF has sketched a hero; let me cite one of the triumphs of Flick over her strongest enemies, when she had succeeded in deceiving him aptly: “The infuriating possibility had already begun to dawn on Dieter. He knew from bitter experience that Flick Clairet was a master of deception. Had she fooled him again?”

There is more to Follet’s mesmerizing string of characters in this novel than just Flick and her viscous and strongest German rival Major Dieter Franck. Her bevy of jackdaws were 1) Honourable Diana Colefield, the baron’s sister and a ‘crackshot’, 2) Gerhard alias Greta, the lesbian telephone engineer in the team, charged to tell them exactly where to place the chargers so as to cripple the exchange, 3) Geraldine “Jelly” Knight, the explosives expert, and 4) Ruby Romain, known as a ‘violent prisoner’ and a ruthless killer, was also an able soldier and an adorable wit. Flick’s squad was trained for the purpose in a jiffy of two days and they mastered shots and parachutes all at once.

Women had contributed immensely and with all their might in the war effort and KF has succeeded in establishing this fact par excellence in this creation, which I would not hesitate to designate as a literary masterpiece. “She was alert, her heart pounding, her muscles tensed for action, but in her brain the blood flowed like ice water.” The precise and picturesque narrative style and the fictional backdrop created by the author have borne consistently the added passion and suspense, which demarcates this piece from any other war document.

Gosh...it happens again....

girls......sigh.....
sometimes it really makes me sick when girls behave real uncanny
1st 'twas Irene...abhi Poo!
gawd.....they'll throw themselves unto the "guy of their dreams"...the guy who's happy being by himself, innocient n carefree.......n when they fall back on her the typical girl chooses to play "oh i'm sooo confused!" CRAP!
yaar.....just make up ur mind!
The apple when up on the tree looks so delicious n alluring, n when u've got it in ur hands.....u'd wince n ho n hum n seem reluctant to take the bite....."i'm not sure i want it" .... gawd....for heavens sake make up ur mind b4 u've severed the apple from its branch!
I really am feeling sorry for Manu, but it aint his fault.....n 'm not saying this coz he's my friend, n Poo's just a second tier acquaintance......why cudn't she make up her silly mind b4 twirling him into her greasy smses n her "affectionate" (apparently) loud houghts?
Yeah...prevention is preferred over cure......but I really hate her.
arghhhhh.....I don't wanna sound so negative on my blog atleast.....
well ...i'll definitely jot in something better n more cheerful next time
Promise :) !

An Ode to Scarlett O'Hara....My Hero

Scarlett O’Hara….the name deemed so scandalous, is my icon …. the woman that I have idolized, ever since I read her. To me, she is pristine – no less than Melly, and I perceive she was more…..Scarlett was no hypocrite!
Society worshipped women so timid, that they’d smell into salts of feminism and let the world take its toll on her mates and siblings. Hail the virtuous….virtue defined in measures of her ability to hide behind the veils when world’s starved for her valor; so were the definitions of aristocratic fem.

Scarlett, chose to step out of the “bounds” defined for her by the society, and said what she felt was right. Never hesitating to speak out the truth, she chose to admit her love for Ashley Wilkes; this is what I consider as virtue. Scarlett chose the less-trodden path, and hence was shunned. It was only Melanie, who, although considered virtuous by the society, could see what the real Scarlett was. Melly saw Scarlett the way I see her….brave, honest, and choosing to twist truth only to save Tara and her folks.

However, Scarlett could rarely realize the virtues that she possessed; she yearned to be like her mother ‘Ellen’, as graceful and pristine. One of her greatest fears was that “mother would be turning in her grave if she knows that I’ve done….”. Scarlett was a child at heart, young and restless, willing to take the reins of her life in her own hands, going to the greatest extents to keep her people protected under her beautiful wings, so lush and caring, yet so strong. She never wanted to go back to those dreadful days of poverty, without a morsel to feed the hundred mouths that gazed up to her, seeking support. She toiled in the fields, under the glaring sun, until her hands were so rough that Rhett could feel the scars when he touched her palms, once so beautiful and delicate. Talking of Scarlett how can I ever miss out on her beauty? With beautiful eyes of emerald, n an angelic face bordered by her wavy red locks, every feature spelt a mesmerizing mix of a grit of steel, sharp wit, and amazing grace. To me she’s been the most beautiful dame literature has ever defined. ‘Feline’ is what her beauty has been described as, sharp, charming, and beautiful. Scarlett O’Hara, to me, she’ll always be a beaut ideal. The perfect portrait a litterateur could ever paint; a portrait, parts of which I’d want to imbibe.

Hail thee....Scarlett!

Stranger than I thought 'twould be ....

Right now I'm in the mids't of doing nothing, when I need to do so much. Have read very little since evening, thank heavens that I had a class in the morn. Came back, slept for a decent 2 hours, went to the library to study, studied a bit, but was almost groggy with slumber again......hence, not ignoring the signs of nature, came back to my room n slept again. This time for an hour or so. Woke up, went with my pals to CT to have dinner....n an ughhhhhh.....the curd-rice that I had ordered was omg so yukk.. Hence, had a small glass of fresh orange juice n returned. Hey, Manu has finally proposed Poo.....wow....i'm feeling so happy for him. I knew this was destined....but he wud never agree.....silly.... :)

they'll make a cute pair n I'll pray that they stay happy 4ever.

Dunno wats happening between me n my best pals....things seem a little messy.....with a lot of careful exchange of words....punctuated generously with explanations for every deed done n every statement made. I want things to be absolutely natural between us.....no formality, no fear of saying the wrong things,....just plain natural selves....completely at ease..sharing every thought with each other....the woes n the fantasies, the smiles n the tears, the sweet dreams n the passions...everything....like real soul-mates. I have to be a better person to achieve this state.....really....I need to control my anger n need to stop being so fussy.

ah.....hope the good lord helps me in this.....he's been helping me a lot....a little more God! Please!

hehe....as if God's reading this.....probably nobody is.....but this e-diary is fun :)

signing off ~~

Separation...again

It's senti time at IIMA!
Palz....bucklin'up.... to make n endeavour into the "real world"
Ahh....nostalgia....that's what's coming in now.
Shrouding my days n nites n telling me....."they're going to go". Away into the world of their own, where i'll probably even forget half their faces and 3/4th of their names.
Huh....so that's life....."move ahead" they say! Ahead? Well yeah.....that I would, but....why does this painful string of severance come in so often?
It started back in '96, after ICSE, when all of us....after 12 beautiful n chirpy years of togetherness, felt the fangs of this painful string, cutting us off our sweet ties. "we'd keep in touch....letters, emails.....we promised, never willing to believe....that not seeing each other everyday....would make a difference. Yeah we're still in touch....Dubai, New Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata, n Ahmedabad.....that's how we're spread....me n my best pals from school. N we've lost track of one of us....the sweet girl, who got me a flower everyday :) n I, oh so enjoyed the pampering!
1998....College days....came up..with a new color of 'freedom', n we spent 3 years, planning for the future n studying hard....to reach those golden skies of our dreams. Sharing tiffins, bunking the boring sessions of some profs ;p
....n running off to the theatres, peek-a-boo.....Anaconda, Titanic, Men in Black :)
Well..My best pal from college is in Singapore now, married...n yeah "busy" :(
"Busy" is what I was too...when she was getting married, n I wasn't there by her...when she was throwing in tantrums just to convince me into being there during the ceremony. Assignments & End terms.....how could I ever be there? Promises, that I might have made, took the rear seat, n I didn't join her. I'm sorry Rosy....I love u!
2001....University of Burdwan..7 pals....clinging together! I miss them all....I miss those pamperings....I miss those fleeting hours by the 'jheel' (lake) by the canteen! When after those two years of togetherness, the fangs of separation were digging in again.... making our hearts bleed..like never before, we supported each other n said...."we'll keep in touch". Yeah...in touch..we are....never seeing each other.....can't make time, out of our "busy" schedules, for getting together....to chat as we used to - to be there, just to be together! Mumbai, Kolkata, Durgapur, Asansol, Israel, Ranchi, Ahmedabad.....is how we got spread this time.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sad.....two years ain't a long time, to get clingy with pals, that's what Sheru says.... n "sob, sob" he goes....
We have a senti NB.... to let out the gushes of our emotions, during the testing times of separation, which pop up, oh so often!
FPM: Am I luckier than my PGP peers, for being able to stay here for more than just 2 years, or is it otherwise; 'coz I'll watch them fleet-off..n be here....feeling the fangs more than I could bear? Well....I'll let time do the trick....n yeah..I'll be an optimist again ~ promising and believing , once again, that we'd be in touch!

Downfall of the 200+ years old Barings Bank~Holla ‘Rogue Trader’: A Narrative

Nick Leeson and Barings Brothers & Co. Ltd, which was the prime target of Nick’s fraudulent financial trading activities, together procured a loss of £830mn over a span of two and a half years, ending February 26, 1995. After Mrs. Thatcher deregulated the London financial market in FY1986, the strong line dividing the English banks and stock traders was dissolved. FY1987 saw the oldest British merchant bank ‘Barings’ diversify into the securities market. Nick, with an ambition of becoming an established stock trader, joined the bank as a clerk in FY1989, and soon became one of the good performers in the field of book-keeping. He was soon recognized and deported to Jakarta, to regulate Barings’ financial operations in the city. Nick had very well realized that Barings’ was thriving on its strong brand identity, of being a ‘discrete and safe bank’ and also of being the coveted banker for the ‘crème’ of the British society. The operations, both front and back office’ were extremely poorly maintained, and Barings used outdated methods and software for running its operations. On reaching Jakarta, he sensed one of the main weaknesses of Barings. It had a very poor system of tracking down and appropriating its accounts receivables.
Recognizing Nick’s commendable performance in Jakarta, Barings, in March 1992, posted him as ‘trader-cum-head of securities operations’ at Barings Securities Ltd., Singapore. Moreover, there was no one officially responsible to monitor his activities in Singapore.

[Note: He was empowered to control both sides of his trading operations at Singapore]

Nick went to work at SIMEx, where his main task was to trade in futures, which functioned mainly on speculations. Futures, being a very new market component, nick hired new traders and linemen to assist him in managing Barings’ financial endeavor. With high market fluctuations in summer’92, Nick’s men made a few mistakes, which lead to a lumpsum operational loss at BSL. To cover it all up, nick opened a secret a/c (named five-eights, 88888), with a different software, than those used at Barings. He then approached Barings’ HQ at London, and asked for capital, to fund his futures trading with BSL clients, that did not really exist. Hence, funds required for margin payments were easily procured from the HQ, based on stories of fake clients. In the meantime, Barings Securities Ltd. was taken over by Barings Brothers and Co., followed by a culture transformation at BSL from low to high control by the upper level executives. By July’93, Nick had wiped out all the losses at a/c88888, but he chose to continue his secret operations to earn more money. He started roping in more clients with the aid of cut-price deals that showed handsome profits on paper, while stacking up the losses of Barings, via ‘88888’. Ron Baker, the newly appointed Head of Financial Products Group at Barings, noticed but ignored Nick’s growing profit records. In FY1993, Nick’s losses had climbed up to £94mn. The discrepancy between Nick’s demand figures and the clients’ repayment ones were noticed by both Ron and Barings’ treasurer.

Internal auditors were set to investigate the situation at Singapore, but they, without checking the official sources for the transaction tracks of Nick, returned with praises for his performances. However, they were worried about his dual role as performer and reviewer of the same set of operations running at Singapore; but they chose to keep mum.

By end of FY’94, an equivalent of 3/4th (£300mn) of Barings’ capital, had been used for funding Nick’s operations, and Nick had successfully weaned in Barings’ executives into believing that he had cooked up £28mn as profits from one year operations of a low risk trading zone, viz. futures.
To make up for his surmounting losses, Nick, observing the politically and economically stable Japanese market, chose to trade in its Nikkei Index. Unfortunately for him and Barings, January 1995 saw the devastating Kobe earthquake, on the following day of which, the Nikkei Index crashed by 1000 points. In an attempt to hold the market up alone, Nick bought 1000s of Nikkei’s stakes, which pushed Barings into a final debt of more than £1bn. The markets kept crashing and Nick kept showing his fake profits to the HQ. However, in January 1995, the Bank observed a figure of £50mn as losses from Nick’s operations. On enquiry, Nick provided a fake (but easily detectable) proof that the money had been forwarded to another bank. As usual, the officials looked through the faults and Nick was saved for some more time. On February 17, 1995, a clerk at Barings noticed the discrepancies at Nick’s account, and finally Nick was chased and arrested in March 1995. However, Barings collapsed due to its huge obligations, mainly in the plummeting Nikkei stocks, and it was sold out to the Dutch bank ING for £1.

*The italicized fragments in the summary are the highlighted faults in Barings’ operational system, which finally lead it to its downfall.
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a) How did Leeson get the necessary cash to fund the margin calls on account 88888? Nick, during his tenure at Jakarta, had been the amused observer of the perforations in Barings’ operational systems. Barings’ was very poor in tracking down and appropriating its accounts receivables, from its clients. Nick used this loophole in the system, and asked for money from Barings HQ, London, to fund his forged a/c ‘88888’ operations of covering losses and showing fake profits from non-existing clientele.
Moreover, at Barings, the senior management was not involved in sanctioning funds (however phenomenal) to its operators. This was another loophole in the system, which Nick had harped on. b) What internal control failures contributed to the collapse? The main problems in the internal control system at Barings, in spite of its cultural transformation into a hierarchically controlled organization, were as follows:
1. Nick Leeson had been posted as the ‘prime trader-cum-head of securities operations’ at Barings Securities Ltd., Singapore. Moreover, there was no one officially responsible to monitor his activities, and Nick scythed down the advantages of controlling both sides of his operations, viz. trading and respective evaluations. Being practically answerable to no one for his activities, Nick effectively manipulated his forged deals.
2. Moreover, Barings had a very outdated operational system, which further eased Nick’s endeavors. His ‘88888’ account remained a well guarded secret, although it contained visible and obvious evidences of his secrecies.
3. The internal performance tracking system, viz. the audit committee, failed to pry into the operational conditions at BSL, in spite of everything being clear and evident. They skipped the act of studying the records, one of the most important tasks of auditing. They also ignored the observation that Nick was practically answerable to no one for his activities, and he was his own performance evaluator.
4. Finally, one of the prime reasons of Barings’ failure was that, the management at the central level was inapt, as far as the securities business was concerned. The prime fault was perhaps the practice that the top management level was held by family members, irrespective of the extents of their business understandings. This perhaps explains how in spite of the management at Barings being controlled by ‘highly experienced bankers’, everyone failed to understand the basics of the business.
c) What information was available to senior executives, prior to collapse that indicated problems at BFS? Why it was not acted upon?

The senior executives at Barings had knowledge of the following details at BSL, Singapore:
1. Nick had possessions of a huge part of the company’s capital, and his demands were rising with every passing day. Even after surpassing their overdrafts limit at Citibank, mostly due to Nick’s activities, the top management chose to let Nick have his way, expecting more profits from his end.
2. The profit figure recorded under Nick’s operations was considered by a majority of the other traders as ‘impossible’ with respect to his operational zone of low risk trades.
3. Ron Baker, the Head of the Financial Products’ Group, and Terry Halls, Chief Treasurer, were aware of the fact that the most of the clients reported by Nick were not paying their dues.

In spite of being aware of most of the discrepancies in the Singaporean records, the management chose not to act mainly because they had started trusting Nick’s capabilities as a clever and highly skilled securities tradesman. They themselves were unaware of the basics of the business apparently run by Nick, and hence chose not to interfere in his operations. They were highly enticed by the dreams that Nick’s operations were potent for earning enormous profits for Barings and hence consequential bonuses for its personnel, especially, the management. Finally and most importantly, no one was officially entrusted with the responsibility of monitoring Nick’s activities, and hence, no one bothered to probe further into enquiring into Nick’s fishy dealings.
d) What information was available to lower level executives? Why it was not acted upon? The treasurers at Barings, who primarily dealt with Nick, were aware that Nick was using the same alibi to extract money by hundreds and thousands of pounds everyday, from the company. There was a reported clientele maintained by Nick, but most of them never paid their dues. The auditors, were aware of the ambiguity in the definition of Nick’s dual roles, as ‘chief trader’ and complementary ‘book-keeper’ at BSL, Singapore; but they were enthralled and probably enticed by the bonus prospects due to Nick’s activities, and hence, chose to hail Nick rather than report the observations to the authorities. The other traders at Barings had raised the issue that an annual profit figure of £28mn was impossible to be achieved from such a low risk transaction activity, as the futures market. However, their objections were overruled by the management, probably due to the latter’s blind faith in Nick as a highly skilled trader and resultant bonus earner for them. e) Could the various regulatory agencies (internal and external) have uncovered the Leeson's unauthorized activities prior to collapse? If so, why did they fail? Nick’s activities were not well-guarded and could have easily been traced, had the regulatory agencies been a little more careful in their operations. The first problem lay in the definition of Nick’s roles; a clear segregation of complementary roles is extremely necessary for unambiguous and fool-proof organizational functioning. Secondly, the performance tracking mechanism was extremely deregulated, although the company held tall claims of being centrally controlled. Nick was practically not answerable for his activities to any of his immediate authorities.Thirdly, had there been a practice at Barings, of tracking down discrepancies in records, like the reasons behind piling client-dues, Nick would not have been successful in his eventful ‘88888’ account’s operations.Fourthly, the auditing mechanism has to be fool-proof to keep the financial records intact and accountable upto meticulous details. This was not the case at Barings, and hence, Nick had his way. Finally, unlike at Barings, there should be a risk-management department or official, to take care that the concerned company does not surpass the safety limits of operation.